Life Is Ever So Sweet
Life is ever so sweet. Embrace it. Cherish it. Bless it.
There are times when life is put in perspective of precious and sweet it really is. This mainly happens when there is a tragedy or when a loved one dies. But we should not wait for these moments to cherish life.
We are blessed with each day. Cherish it. Embrace it.
Every moment of every day should be a sweet moment of life. Threw the happy times and threw the storms of life. Strength, faith, and hope are the things that give us the courage to weather the storm. And the same things that we use to appreciate what we went through.
We are blessed with this day. And this should be appreciated. Be thankful for what you have before your eyes. Thankful for the little things. Stand in awe of the day that you have in front of you. Hold on a little longer. Hug a little tighter. Love a little longer.
When those sad times enter your life think of this thought. Whatever soothes your spirit, comforts your soul, and brings you peace... that's what you are wished at this sad time. Remember those who are no longer with us.
Life is sweet. Embrace it. Cherish it. Appreciate it. Bless it!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
He’s Mine & I’m His
He’s Mine & I’m His
He is mine and I am his. I’ve said it before, he makes my heart happy. He is the one that my heart loves. He is my light, my joy, my love. We are together in this life for the long haul. Together through the good times and the bad. We will weather the storm of life side by side.
I will stand by his side. He is mine. I am his. Together, hand in hand. He stands up for what he believes in. He speaks his mind. He is stubborn and head strong. He is opinionated. Some may not understand this about him. But I love him for it. I would not change a single thing about him.
I don’t tell him enough but I appreciate and love every single thing about him. The light in his eyes. The love in his touch. The orneriness in his smile. He makes me laugh and smile with all these.
He is my best friend. He is my joy in my heart. He is the light of my life. He is the love of my heart.
He is mine and I am his. I’ve said it before, he makes my heart happy. He is the one that my heart loves. He is my light, my joy, my love. We are together in this life for the long haul. Together through the good times and the bad. We will weather the storm of life side by side.
I will stand by his side. He is mine. I am his. Together, hand in hand. He stands up for what he believes in. He speaks his mind. He is stubborn and head strong. He is opinionated. Some may not understand this about him. But I love him for it. I would not change a single thing about him.
I don’t tell him enough but I appreciate and love every single thing about him. The light in his eyes. The love in his touch. The orneriness in his smile. He makes me laugh and smile with all these.
He is my best friend. He is my joy in my heart. He is the light of my life. He is the love of my heart.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The One My Heart Loves
I’d given up on love. I thought I would never find the one that my heart loves.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, I thought I would write about the one that my heart loves.
I write my feelings. I use my words. I have written about losing love, moving on, having fun, and living. But I have not really written about love. I have wrote how I have learned to love myself but not the one my heart loves because until now I had not found that person. Now that I have, here is our story.
Tony and I tried dating once. Last year. It lasted a few months. We had fun. But for one reason and another it ended. I was heart broken. But I lived through another heartache.
Then during the Summer ’09, we reconnected. We talked out our issues and problems. We talked about our heartaches and what we wanted to make us happy. At first we decided to take things low and slow. But there was something about him. A look he gave me. A smile on his face. A wink. A nod. I melted. The feelings that I had buried for him came back. Full force.
I tried fighting it because there was a person in my life that would not understand. She was there for me when he made me cry the first time and she would not tolerate him doing it again. I had to find the right time to tell her. It was hard for both Tony and I, trying to hide a secret. Caused problems for us and we tried to end things before we got started. But there was something there between us and we did not want to lose it again. So I mustered the guts and courage and I spilled my secret. She was upset. But she was willing to try and forgive. She did it for me. She did it for our friendship.
So that is where, Tony and I started again… We started our story over. And there was something different about us this time. And everyone saw it. But I was scared. I wanted to jump head first into the love that I felt but I was guarded. Guarded because of my past and our past. But I decided to just go with my heart. My heart had not let me down yet.
Now after 7 months we are going stronger then ever. There is something in his eyes when he looks at me. I feel like he is looking at my soul. There is something special in his touch. There is a love and trust in his hands and arms. Tony is my love. He is the one that my heart loves. I love him like I have never loved before. There is a passion, trust, respect, and appreciation like I have never experienced before. He makes me smile and laugh. He makes my heart happy! He truly is the one my heart loves!
My friends tell me that we complement each other. That we are truly each others better half. People say that there is a way that we look at each other and you can see the love. I know that I feel the love when he looks at me. That there is something special in a wink between us. Something when we hold each others hands. I feel the love and people can see the love. That is something special.
We have our arguments. We have our tiffs. But there is no one else that I would rather fight with. We are planning on a future. A long future with ups and downs. Highs and lows. Good days and bad. We will weather the storm together. He will be there for me and I will be there for him. Together, we can conquer anything. We want it all. Together. He is my love. He is the one my heart loves. There is something special about our love.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, I thought I would write about the one that my heart loves.
I write my feelings. I use my words. I have written about losing love, moving on, having fun, and living. But I have not really written about love. I have wrote how I have learned to love myself but not the one my heart loves because until now I had not found that person. Now that I have, here is our story.
Tony and I tried dating once. Last year. It lasted a few months. We had fun. But for one reason and another it ended. I was heart broken. But I lived through another heartache.
Then during the Summer ’09, we reconnected. We talked out our issues and problems. We talked about our heartaches and what we wanted to make us happy. At first we decided to take things low and slow. But there was something about him. A look he gave me. A smile on his face. A wink. A nod. I melted. The feelings that I had buried for him came back. Full force.
I tried fighting it because there was a person in my life that would not understand. She was there for me when he made me cry the first time and she would not tolerate him doing it again. I had to find the right time to tell her. It was hard for both Tony and I, trying to hide a secret. Caused problems for us and we tried to end things before we got started. But there was something there between us and we did not want to lose it again. So I mustered the guts and courage and I spilled my secret. She was upset. But she was willing to try and forgive. She did it for me. She did it for our friendship.
So that is where, Tony and I started again… We started our story over. And there was something different about us this time. And everyone saw it. But I was scared. I wanted to jump head first into the love that I felt but I was guarded. Guarded because of my past and our past. But I decided to just go with my heart. My heart had not let me down yet.
Now after 7 months we are going stronger then ever. There is something in his eyes when he looks at me. I feel like he is looking at my soul. There is something special in his touch. There is a love and trust in his hands and arms. Tony is my love. He is the one that my heart loves. I love him like I have never loved before. There is a passion, trust, respect, and appreciation like I have never experienced before. He makes me smile and laugh. He makes my heart happy! He truly is the one my heart loves!
My friends tell me that we complement each other. That we are truly each others better half. People say that there is a way that we look at each other and you can see the love. I know that I feel the love when he looks at me. That there is something special in a wink between us. Something when we hold each others hands. I feel the love and people can see the love. That is something special.
We have our arguments. We have our tiffs. But there is no one else that I would rather fight with. We are planning on a future. A long future with ups and downs. Highs and lows. Good days and bad. We will weather the storm together. He will be there for me and I will be there for him. Together, we can conquer anything. We want it all. Together. He is my love. He is the one my heart loves. There is something special about our love.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Chin up... Boobs out! Up and Over! Bless it and Let it go!
This is what I am trying to do! Trying with everything I have. I'm going to have to find away yet again. I sometimes think that I am too forgiving. I haven't forgiven this most recent act of his.
I have been told...
I'm resilient. I'm strong. I'm fabulous and that I have courage, strength, and dignity. I've been told that I'm inspiring and that I am respected. I've been told that my words bring hope or a lesson. I've been thanked for sharing my thoughts, my emotions.
These things make me happy. I am awed that someone would think of me in this way. I just write what I feel. I share my words, thoughts, and emotions.
I never thought that my struggles, my heartache, my life lessons, could affect someone else. Again, I share my words but I am grateful to know that I am helping in some small way.
"Those who do not remember the past are codemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
I believe in the above quote. I will always remember my past. Not remembering to hold a grudge, but remembering how to let go. Remembering the past for the life lessons, not having regrets. Remembering the past so time can heal and I can be grateful when I get swept off my feet.
"I am strong because I am weak. I am beautiful because I know my flaws. I am a lover because I am a fighter. I'm fearless because I've been afraid. I am wise becase I have been foolish. And I can laugh because I've known sadness." - Unknown.
This is another quote that I found that I believe whole heartedly in. I'm strong because of what I have live through. Everything that I have lived through. I've been through more than you think I have. I know that I am a beautiful person because I have excepted myself the way that I am. I am a fighter. I fight for what I want and what I love. I've been scared but lived through it. My foolish ways have lead to the wisdon I have gained. And I have had my fair share of sadness. I have grieved and grown.
I am just trying to the kind of woman that I would want my daughter to be. I am taking more control. And as Audra told me... "Line 'em up sister. Make 'em work for you." So that's what I'm going to do. Not sure exactly what it is yet. Still lining things out. Still figuring things out. And that includes a lot... My life. My work. My education. The newest D.G. mess. But it will all work out. What is meant to be will be. I am a believer in fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason. A reason for everything... There's a reason for it all. Even the simple things. That's what I believe. Now I'm ready for things to work for me instead of against me. But I'm sure there was a reason even if I can't figure it out.
This is what I am trying to do! Trying with everything I have. I'm going to have to find away yet again. I sometimes think that I am too forgiving. I haven't forgiven this most recent act of his.
I have been told...
I'm resilient. I'm strong. I'm fabulous and that I have courage, strength, and dignity. I've been told that I'm inspiring and that I am respected. I've been told that my words bring hope or a lesson. I've been thanked for sharing my thoughts, my emotions.
These things make me happy. I am awed that someone would think of me in this way. I just write what I feel. I share my words, thoughts, and emotions.
I never thought that my struggles, my heartache, my life lessons, could affect someone else. Again, I share my words but I am grateful to know that I am helping in some small way.
"Those who do not remember the past are codemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
I believe in the above quote. I will always remember my past. Not remembering to hold a grudge, but remembering how to let go. Remembering the past for the life lessons, not having regrets. Remembering the past so time can heal and I can be grateful when I get swept off my feet.
"I am strong because I am weak. I am beautiful because I know my flaws. I am a lover because I am a fighter. I'm fearless because I've been afraid. I am wise becase I have been foolish. And I can laugh because I've known sadness." - Unknown.
This is another quote that I found that I believe whole heartedly in. I'm strong because of what I have live through. Everything that I have lived through. I've been through more than you think I have. I know that I am a beautiful person because I have excepted myself the way that I am. I am a fighter. I fight for what I want and what I love. I've been scared but lived through it. My foolish ways have lead to the wisdon I have gained. And I have had my fair share of sadness. I have grieved and grown.
I am just trying to the kind of woman that I would want my daughter to be. I am taking more control. And as Audra told me... "Line 'em up sister. Make 'em work for you." So that's what I'm going to do. Not sure exactly what it is yet. Still lining things out. Still figuring things out. And that includes a lot... My life. My work. My education. The newest D.G. mess. But it will all work out. What is meant to be will be. I am a believer in fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason. A reason for everything... There's a reason for it all. Even the simple things. That's what I believe. Now I'm ready for things to work for me instead of against me. But I'm sure there was a reason even if I can't figure it out.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Too Far Gone...
Too Far Gone...
He went too far. He crossed a line. And I will make him pay for it now.
I can handle what you do and have done to me. Bring it! My broad shoulders and steel in my spine can handle it.
But... DO NOT INVOLVE MY FAMILY. DO NOT BRING MY LOVES INTO YOUR MESS.
And that's what you did. You have no integrity. Your shame is never ending. You destroy everything!
What you did was well over a year ago. But comfirmation was made to me yesterday. Why? Getting high was that important... You stole from my mother. You stole from my dead uncle. You stole an important memory from my mother, my brothers, my family, and me.
You will now pay for your sins in some way.
I have NEVER been this angry before in my life. The RAGE I feel in my soul is an experience like no other before in my life.
Causing you much harm is what I want. It is taking all the self control I have not to find you. It is taking all self control to get through the day. It is taking self control to type these words.
Rage is almost to the breaking edge. Remembering to breathe. Remembering that Karama is a bitch and a big bitch then I will EVER be!
Let's hope we don't see each other... I may end up with a misdemeanor charge of assult and battery.
He went too far. He crossed a line. And I will make him pay for it now.
I can handle what you do and have done to me. Bring it! My broad shoulders and steel in my spine can handle it.
But... DO NOT INVOLVE MY FAMILY. DO NOT BRING MY LOVES INTO YOUR MESS.
And that's what you did. You have no integrity. Your shame is never ending. You destroy everything!
What you did was well over a year ago. But comfirmation was made to me yesterday. Why? Getting high was that important... You stole from my mother. You stole from my dead uncle. You stole an important memory from my mother, my brothers, my family, and me.
You will now pay for your sins in some way.
I have NEVER been this angry before in my life. The RAGE I feel in my soul is an experience like no other before in my life.
Causing you much harm is what I want. It is taking all the self control I have not to find you. It is taking all self control to get through the day. It is taking self control to type these words.
Rage is almost to the breaking edge. Remembering to breathe. Remembering that Karama is a bitch and a big bitch then I will EVER be!
Let's hope we don't see each other... I may end up with a misdemeanor charge of assult and battery.
Update on List of 'Going to Do'
Update on List of 'Going to Do'
Back on my New Year's blog I had posted a list of things that I was going to do this year. Well I have accomplished a few things on that list. A few things I am still working on. Just wanted to share my progress.
Ear piercing - check mark done... I got my rook pierced.
One tattoo - check mark done... February 28th with Audra. Words grace and dignity inside a pair of angel wings on my right shoulder.
Apply for grad school - check mark done... Not getting good vibes on being accepted. I'll just apply again next year.
Run the Susan G. Komen 5K - need to get back into the gym. Much needed cardio to be able to run it.
Being 'greener' - working on this one.
Blogging more - slacking on this one.
Read more books - this one I am enjoying.
Continue to pamper and spoil myself - this one is the best one to accomplish.
Continue to go to concerts - working on this years concert series.
Well that's a few things that I have been up too.
Back on my New Year's blog I had posted a list of things that I was going to do this year. Well I have accomplished a few things on that list. A few things I am still working on. Just wanted to share my progress.
Ear piercing - check mark done... I got my rook pierced.
One tattoo - check mark done... February 28th with Audra. Words grace and dignity inside a pair of angel wings on my right shoulder.
Apply for grad school - check mark done... Not getting good vibes on being accepted. I'll just apply again next year.
Run the Susan G. Komen 5K - need to get back into the gym. Much needed cardio to be able to run it.
Being 'greener' - working on this one.
Blogging more - slacking on this one.
Read more books - this one I am enjoying.
Continue to pamper and spoil myself - this one is the best one to accomplish.
Continue to go to concerts - working on this years concert series.
Well that's a few things that I have been up too.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Grace & Dignity
Grace & Dignity
Part of my daily living.
Two words that describe me.
Two words tattooed on my shoulder.
The standard that I hold myself to.
Words that I am in love with.
I have settled the last of D.G.’s mess. Granted, I still owe the money but it’s less. Way less than the original debt. I no longer owe creditors or collection agencies. I owe just one bank. It’s a relief. Small relief but still a relief. Last week was a rough week. And it’s amazing how a simple form letter leads you to make a phone call and then after the phone call your day and rest of the week turn to shit. But it’s settled. And I had to rally every bit of grace, dignity, pride, strength, courage, and patience within my being not to track him down, punch him in the face, stare in his eyes and say “Fuck You!” But if I do that then he wins. He will know that he broke me down. I am not broken. I am not down. I am standing with steel in my spine. Grace & Dignity.
Working on letting this go… This recent BS just made the anger surface. No rage. I was angry all over again. Anger over lies, betrayal, heartache, and the loss. But I’m not staying down. I am not broken. I am so much better than all of this.
So moving on. No where to go but up. Chin up. Boobs out! I don’t have to live that time again.
Part of my daily living.
Two words that describe me.
Two words tattooed on my shoulder.
The standard that I hold myself to.
Words that I am in love with.
I have settled the last of D.G.’s mess. Granted, I still owe the money but it’s less. Way less than the original debt. I no longer owe creditors or collection agencies. I owe just one bank. It’s a relief. Small relief but still a relief. Last week was a rough week. And it’s amazing how a simple form letter leads you to make a phone call and then after the phone call your day and rest of the week turn to shit. But it’s settled. And I had to rally every bit of grace, dignity, pride, strength, courage, and patience within my being not to track him down, punch him in the face, stare in his eyes and say “Fuck You!” But if I do that then he wins. He will know that he broke me down. I am not broken. I am not down. I am standing with steel in my spine. Grace & Dignity.
Working on letting this go… This recent BS just made the anger surface. No rage. I was angry all over again. Anger over lies, betrayal, heartache, and the loss. But I’m not staying down. I am not broken. I am so much better than all of this.
So moving on. No where to go but up. Chin up. Boobs out! I don’t have to live that time again.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
One Year Later...
One Year Later…
Looking back and reflecting on how far I have come in a year. It has been a year since I walked away. I can barely believe it. One year ago, my world came crashing down around me and the shit storm began. I was knocked down and I did not know how I was going to be back up. I was lost and lonely. I had been in with him for over seven years. I loved him with everything I had. I was willing to try. But he did not know how to try. I asked for him to meet me half way and he was unable. I have stopped questioning why. I blessed it all and let it go. I wish him happiness. I truly do. Some people still ask me how I am able to wish him the best and not hate him. I am not sure how I am able to do it. I just know that I have. I tried to hate him. But I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Maybe it’s just the person that I am. I have let it go. Completely let it go.
I look back. I see the person that I am now. I look back to the person that I was. I don’t know who that girl is anymore. I look at myself and see strength and courage and grace and dignity and confidence. I have found steel in my spine. I discovered a love for myself that I never knew before.
I did a lot of work on my own in healing my heart and discovering who I am. But I had a ton of help and support and unconditional love from family and friends.
My mother and brothers have been fantastic…
My mother has always been my friend. She has always been there for me no matter what was going on. She helped me up and helped dust me off. She told me to hold my head high and that everything would be just fine. I believed her. And she was right. I knew when she spoke those words that one day things would work out.
My brother, Zac, and I have become closer than ever. I felt love from Sean and Kevin like never before. All of them reached out to their little sister. Revenge was plotted and laughs were shared. They have always been my protectors and in my time of need I welcomed their protective ways. I am so thankful for my brothers. They are truly wonderful men and I am lucky to be their little sister. I have always believed that every little girl needs a big brother. I was blessed with three. And I don’t know what I would if I did not have them in my life.
Friends reached out and helped a friend up. There’s nothing like a good cry on a friend’s shoulder or plotting revenge with that friend over a cold beer. I reconnected with old friends and those friends grew stronger than ever. I met new friends and I see those friendships continuing to grow.
I lived and learned through all of this. I believe that it all happened for a reason or many reasons. I don’t know what those reasons are. But it happened. I lived every moment of it. At times I thought I wouldn’t make it. But I refused to stay down.
I am continuing to live. I am living my way. At times it is loud and rowdy. And I like it. I embrace everyday. I still have my moment s when I question why… But those times don’t last long and they are getting fewer. I refused to stay down long. I feel hard but I got up with grace and dignity. And those two things, grace and dignity, continue to get me through everyday. I live my life with grace and dignity. I don’t have to live these days again. And I don’t have this moment live again. I have learned. I have loved. I have lost. And I will live. Live everyday. And live everyday with grace and dignity.
Looking back and reflecting on how far I have come in a year. It has been a year since I walked away. I can barely believe it. One year ago, my world came crashing down around me and the shit storm began. I was knocked down and I did not know how I was going to be back up. I was lost and lonely. I had been in with him for over seven years. I loved him with everything I had. I was willing to try. But he did not know how to try. I asked for him to meet me half way and he was unable. I have stopped questioning why. I blessed it all and let it go. I wish him happiness. I truly do. Some people still ask me how I am able to wish him the best and not hate him. I am not sure how I am able to do it. I just know that I have. I tried to hate him. But I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Maybe it’s just the person that I am. I have let it go. Completely let it go.
I look back. I see the person that I am now. I look back to the person that I was. I don’t know who that girl is anymore. I look at myself and see strength and courage and grace and dignity and confidence. I have found steel in my spine. I discovered a love for myself that I never knew before.
I did a lot of work on my own in healing my heart and discovering who I am. But I had a ton of help and support and unconditional love from family and friends.
My mother and brothers have been fantastic…
My mother has always been my friend. She has always been there for me no matter what was going on. She helped me up and helped dust me off. She told me to hold my head high and that everything would be just fine. I believed her. And she was right. I knew when she spoke those words that one day things would work out.
My brother, Zac, and I have become closer than ever. I felt love from Sean and Kevin like never before. All of them reached out to their little sister. Revenge was plotted and laughs were shared. They have always been my protectors and in my time of need I welcomed their protective ways. I am so thankful for my brothers. They are truly wonderful men and I am lucky to be their little sister. I have always believed that every little girl needs a big brother. I was blessed with three. And I don’t know what I would if I did not have them in my life.
Friends reached out and helped a friend up. There’s nothing like a good cry on a friend’s shoulder or plotting revenge with that friend over a cold beer. I reconnected with old friends and those friends grew stronger than ever. I met new friends and I see those friendships continuing to grow.
I lived and learned through all of this. I believe that it all happened for a reason or many reasons. I don’t know what those reasons are. But it happened. I lived every moment of it. At times I thought I wouldn’t make it. But I refused to stay down.
I am continuing to live. I am living my way. At times it is loud and rowdy. And I like it. I embrace everyday. I still have my moment s when I question why… But those times don’t last long and they are getting fewer. I refused to stay down long. I feel hard but I got up with grace and dignity. And those two things, grace and dignity, continue to get me through everyday. I live my life with grace and dignity. I don’t have to live these days again. And I don’t have this moment live again. I have learned. I have loved. I have lost. And I will live. Live everyday. And live everyday with grace and dignity.
She...
"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being a human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more then she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there." - Bob Marley
I read this today and it kinda got to me. It gave me chills. I'm not sure if Bob Marley really said this but I like it either way. (Side note... I did Google it and everything I found said that he said it so, maybe he did)
But... Back to the quote. This quote makes me think about myself and a couple of very special friends that I have in my life. I think in a way this is what we all want. I know for me I have loved and I have lost. I have loved before and I will love again. I am not broken and I am not damaged goods. I am not perfect. I don't claim to be perfect. I know I will make a person happy and I will make a person laugh. I know that I can give my all and I can love deeply. I will give my heart away again and all I ask is that the person I give it away to will handle it with care. I know who I am so don't try to change me. If you don't like me for me, I'm okay with that one because that means I don't need you in my life. I will show you what you show me.
I read this today and it kinda got to me. It gave me chills. I'm not sure if Bob Marley really said this but I like it either way. (Side note... I did Google it and everything I found said that he said it so, maybe he did)
But... Back to the quote. This quote makes me think about myself and a couple of very special friends that I have in my life. I think in a way this is what we all want. I know for me I have loved and I have lost. I have loved before and I will love again. I am not broken and I am not damaged goods. I am not perfect. I don't claim to be perfect. I know I will make a person happy and I will make a person laugh. I know that I can give my all and I can love deeply. I will give my heart away again and all I ask is that the person I give it away to will handle it with care. I know who I am so don't try to change me. If you don't like me for me, I'm okay with that one because that means I don't need you in my life. I will show you what you show me.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Well... Hello 2009!
I've been meaning to posted these one for a couple of days now...
Hello 2009!
I am so glad to see 2009 here!
2008 was a rollercoaster of a year. 2008 brought a shit storm and heartache. But it also brought happiness and bliss! I survived betrayal and found courage and strength. I discovered grace and dignity that I did not know that I possessed. I found that I have a little steel in my spine.
2008 brought me closer to my family. I grew closer to friends, rekindled old friendships, and found new friendships.
I have had my days of depression. And I have had my rowdy, loud, crazy nights. I’ve had nights that turned into mornings and friends that turned into family.
I had my heart broken in the beginning of the year. And towards the end of the year, I found out that I still had a heart and it was capable of letting love in. Even though the latter was short lived, I am thankful in knowing that I am not damaged goods.
In this crazy, wonderful, amazing year that just passed, I discover who I really am. I found myself. I was knocked down. I was once told… “It’s not how you fall, it’s how you get up.” I decided to get up with grace and dignity. In finding out the woman that I am, I also found out the kind of woman that I want to be. I have discovered that I am worth it. And I am not going to waste the pretty. I am better than I have ever been. And it can only get better!
So I cannot wait to see what 2009 will bring to me! I can only get better and things can only look up.
So here is a list of a few things that I am going to do…
I’m going to apply for graduate school.
Hopefully, I will start grad school.
I’m going to get new ear piercing.
I’m going to get at least one of my tattoos.
I’m going to run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K.
I’m going to be “greener”.
I’m going to read more books.
I’m going to continue to pamper and spoil myself because I know that I am worth it.
I’m going to continue to go to all the concerts that I can.
I’m going to blog more.I’m going to continue to make lists.
Hello 2009!
I am so glad to see 2009 here!
2008 was a rollercoaster of a year. 2008 brought a shit storm and heartache. But it also brought happiness and bliss! I survived betrayal and found courage and strength. I discovered grace and dignity that I did not know that I possessed. I found that I have a little steel in my spine.
2008 brought me closer to my family. I grew closer to friends, rekindled old friendships, and found new friendships.
I have had my days of depression. And I have had my rowdy, loud, crazy nights. I’ve had nights that turned into mornings and friends that turned into family.
I had my heart broken in the beginning of the year. And towards the end of the year, I found out that I still had a heart and it was capable of letting love in. Even though the latter was short lived, I am thankful in knowing that I am not damaged goods.
In this crazy, wonderful, amazing year that just passed, I discover who I really am. I found myself. I was knocked down. I was once told… “It’s not how you fall, it’s how you get up.” I decided to get up with grace and dignity. In finding out the woman that I am, I also found out the kind of woman that I want to be. I have discovered that I am worth it. And I am not going to waste the pretty. I am better than I have ever been. And it can only get better!
So I cannot wait to see what 2009 will bring to me! I can only get better and things can only look up.
So here is a list of a few things that I am going to do…
I’m going to apply for graduate school.
Hopefully, I will start grad school.
I’m going to get new ear piercing.
I’m going to get at least one of my tattoos.
I’m going to run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K.
I’m going to be “greener”.
I’m going to read more books.
I’m going to continue to pamper and spoil myself because I know that I am worth it.
I’m going to continue to go to all the concerts that I can.
I’m going to blog more.I’m going to continue to make lists.
Defining Myself for Myself
"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive." - Audre Lorde
You can only live for yourself. You are the only person that you have to make happy. It's a journey to figure out who you are. But it is so worth all the work. You are worth it! I am worth it!
I have defined myself. I have found out who I am. I have discovered what I am made of. I know the kind of strong woman that I am. I am becoming the kind of woman that I would want my daughter to be. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know my charms and my flaws. There are things that I cannot change. And I have learned that I don't have to change them unless I want to change. The only expections I have to live up to are my own.
I know that I am not perfect. I don't what to be perfect. That is a pedestal that I do not what to do place upon. I like the imperfections. The imperctions that I have embraced make me who I am. It is all part of defining who I am.
This is me. This is who I am. You can take it or leave.
You can only live for yourself. You are the only person that you have to make happy. It's a journey to figure out who you are. But it is so worth all the work. You are worth it! I am worth it!
I have defined myself. I have found out who I am. I have discovered what I am made of. I know the kind of strong woman that I am. I am becoming the kind of woman that I would want my daughter to be. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know my charms and my flaws. There are things that I cannot change. And I have learned that I don't have to change them unless I want to change. The only expections I have to live up to are my own.
I know that I am not perfect. I don't what to be perfect. That is a pedestal that I do not what to do place upon. I like the imperfections. The imperctions that I have embraced make me who I am. It is all part of defining who I am.
This is me. This is who I am. You can take it or leave.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Music Echos
Isn't it funny how music can echo your emotions. Reflect how you feel. Put your feelings into words.
I put my iPod on shuffle today. And every sone that played reflected how I was feeling today. My mood of being confused but hopeful. Sad but strong. Upset but determined. And just handling my life with grace and dignity.
Music expressing my feeling and mood is something magical.
I put my iPod on shuffle today. And every sone that played reflected how I was feeling today. My mood of being confused but hopeful. Sad but strong. Upset but determined. And just handling my life with grace and dignity.
Music expressing my feeling and mood is something magical.
To A.S.I. - This one is for you
I am a fighter. I fight for what I want. I fight for what I need. I fight for what's mine. And I don't handle rejection well. I don't like being told no.
Maybe since I am a fighter that's the reason I haven't given up. Even though I said I was done, I wasn't ready to give up. I don't like to quit. I had to say I was done to give my heart some peace.
But I wasn't ready to give up because of several reasons. I wasn't ready to give up because I saw something in your eyes. I wasn't ready to give up just yet because I felt something in your touch. I wasn't ready to give up because I felt something in my heart and soul for you. I wasn't ready to give up because I liked the feeling of butterflies in my stomach everytime I thought of your sweet face.
I saw something in you and I felt something for you. I was scared. I know what I felt was real. I'm not scared of that feeling anymore. For that, I thank you.
And again, thank you for letting me know that I can open my heart. Thank you for letting me know I can survive yet another heartache.
There's just something about you that I believed in. Something that got me. Hook. Line. and Sinker. You reeled me in. I liked it. And I believed what you said.
I believed you the other day when you said that you were sorry and that we would talk. I believed it. You reeled me back in. And I held tightly onto that string again. But I have to let go again because my heart can't handle the pain.
But I am still not ready to let go. I know I need to let go. But I don't want to. You got to me and in a good way too.
I don't know if this is my final good-bye. Maybe it should be. But I don't want it to be good-bye.
Thinking of you!
p.s. I want to be there for you even if I have to settlle for reamining your friend.
Maybe since I am a fighter that's the reason I haven't given up. Even though I said I was done, I wasn't ready to give up. I don't like to quit. I had to say I was done to give my heart some peace.
But I wasn't ready to give up because of several reasons. I wasn't ready to give up because I saw something in your eyes. I wasn't ready to give up just yet because I felt something in your touch. I wasn't ready to give up because I felt something in my heart and soul for you. I wasn't ready to give up because I liked the feeling of butterflies in my stomach everytime I thought of your sweet face.
I saw something in you and I felt something for you. I was scared. I know what I felt was real. I'm not scared of that feeling anymore. For that, I thank you.
And again, thank you for letting me know that I can open my heart. Thank you for letting me know I can survive yet another heartache.
There's just something about you that I believed in. Something that got me. Hook. Line. and Sinker. You reeled me in. I liked it. And I believed what you said.
I believed you the other day when you said that you were sorry and that we would talk. I believed it. You reeled me back in. And I held tightly onto that string again. But I have to let go again because my heart can't handle the pain.
But I am still not ready to let go. I know I need to let go. But I don't want to. You got to me and in a good way too.
I don't know if this is my final good-bye. Maybe it should be. But I don't want it to be good-bye.
Thinking of you!
p.s. I want to be there for you even if I have to settlle for reamining your friend.
think about this one...
Fall in love or fall in hate.
Get inspired or be depressed.
Ace a test or flunk a class.
Makes babies or make art.
Speak the truth or lie and cheat.
Dance on tables or sit in the corner.
Life is divine chaos. Embrace it.
Forgive yourself. Breathe.
And enjoy the ride…
- Solbeam
It's all about a choice. You make the final decision in what you do. The experiences around you help influence your choice. But the choice is yours. It's all on you.
Get inspired or be depressed.
Ace a test or flunk a class.
Makes babies or make art.
Speak the truth or lie and cheat.
Dance on tables or sit in the corner.
Life is divine chaos. Embrace it.
Forgive yourself. Breathe.
And enjoy the ride…
- Solbeam
It's all about a choice. You make the final decision in what you do. The experiences around you help influence your choice. But the choice is yours. It's all on you.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Change & Happiness
Change & Happiness.
These are a couple things going on in my life right now that I am trying to embrace. Change and happiness. I have a lot of change going on. And it is bringing me happiness.
My life is starting a new chapter. I’m ready for this new adventure. It’s a new journey.
I have always known what I have wanted in life. I have always known the kind of person that I wanted to be. I have also gone after what I want. My path has changed but I have embraced it. At times I may have taken the wrong road or the long way around. But it has ultimately got me to this point in my life of change.
My job is changing. I am still at RMH, but I am changing positions. I am looking forward to all the challenges that my new job will be bringing. It’s exciting. I am embracing this change.
I am planning on continuing my education. That’s a big change. Going back to school. Being a student again. Taking my career to a whole new level. I am embracing this change too.
My heart is changing. I have forgiven Danny Grayson for what he did to me. For EVERYTHING that he did to me. That was a big change. I said when. I had enough. Enough of being angry. Enough of being bitter. Enough of being unhappy. Forgiveness has brought about the biggest change. It has also enabled me to be truly happy.
My heart is also being taken by someone special. He makes me smile. Really, smile. I’m ready for this change and happiness. I’m ready. He makes me happy. I’m embracing this change. I am trying really hard. It’s a difficult thing for me to trust. But I am learning. And he is being patient. I asked him to show me some things and if he did, then my fragile heart was his. And it’s not fair for me to ask for these things if I’m not showing them to him as well. (You show me & I will show you the same).
I am ready for all of this change. I am ready to see what kind of happiness I will have.
These are a couple things going on in my life right now that I am trying to embrace. Change and happiness. I have a lot of change going on. And it is bringing me happiness.
My life is starting a new chapter. I’m ready for this new adventure. It’s a new journey.
I have always known what I have wanted in life. I have always known the kind of person that I wanted to be. I have also gone after what I want. My path has changed but I have embraced it. At times I may have taken the wrong road or the long way around. But it has ultimately got me to this point in my life of change.
My job is changing. I am still at RMH, but I am changing positions. I am looking forward to all the challenges that my new job will be bringing. It’s exciting. I am embracing this change.
I am planning on continuing my education. That’s a big change. Going back to school. Being a student again. Taking my career to a whole new level. I am embracing this change too.
My heart is changing. I have forgiven Danny Grayson for what he did to me. For EVERYTHING that he did to me. That was a big change. I said when. I had enough. Enough of being angry. Enough of being bitter. Enough of being unhappy. Forgiveness has brought about the biggest change. It has also enabled me to be truly happy.
My heart is also being taken by someone special. He makes me smile. Really, smile. I’m ready for this change and happiness. I’m ready. He makes me happy. I’m embracing this change. I am trying really hard. It’s a difficult thing for me to trust. But I am learning. And he is being patient. I asked him to show me some things and if he did, then my fragile heart was his. And it’s not fair for me to ask for these things if I’m not showing them to him as well. (You show me & I will show you the same).
I am ready for all of this change. I am ready to see what kind of happiness I will have.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Show Me...
Show Me…
Show me that you’re for real.
Show me that you care.
Show me that I matter.
Show me that I deserve it.
Show me that you are better than him.
Show me that promises are not broken.
Show me that I can trust you.
Show me that I have your trust.
Show me that you understand.
Show me that I will be a priority.
Show me that I won’t be forgotten.
Show me that you can handle me at my worst because then you deserve my best.
Show me that you make me happy.
Show me that you are willing to climb over my wall.
Show me that you have patience; I will try not to make you wait long.
Show me that I’m worth it.
Show me that you are honest and speak the truth.
Show me that you will be loyal.
Show me that you respect me.
Show me that you appreciate me.
Show me that I am special to you.
Show me that I can tell you anything.
Show that you are not willing to let me push you away.
Show me that I am worth fighting for and worth keeping.
Show me that you’ll hold me tight.
Show me these things and my fragile heart is yours. Just handle it with care.
Show me that you’re for real.
Show me that you care.
Show me that I matter.
Show me that I deserve it.
Show me that you are better than him.
Show me that promises are not broken.
Show me that I can trust you.
Show me that I have your trust.
Show me that you understand.
Show me that I will be a priority.
Show me that I won’t be forgotten.
Show me that you can handle me at my worst because then you deserve my best.
Show me that you make me happy.
Show me that you are willing to climb over my wall.
Show me that you have patience; I will try not to make you wait long.
Show me that I’m worth it.
Show me that you are honest and speak the truth.
Show me that you will be loyal.
Show me that you respect me.
Show me that you appreciate me.
Show me that I am special to you.
Show me that I can tell you anything.
Show that you are not willing to let me push you away.
Show me that I am worth fighting for and worth keeping.
Show me that you’ll hold me tight.
Show me these things and my fragile heart is yours. Just handle it with care.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
I forgive you...
I forgive you…
I know that I must forgive you. I know that I must forgive you for everything you did. Until I forgive you, you have a hold on my heart. I can’t let anyone else in until I forgive you. So… I forgive you.
I’m not doing this for you. I am doing this for me. I need this. I have to have this. I need to let you go. Completely let you go.
I forgive you for breaking my heart.
I forgive you for all the empty promises.
I forgive you for all the promises that you broke too.
I forgive you for betraying me.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for not trusting me with your whole heart when I trusted you with my whole heart.
I forgive you for not loving me with your entire soul when I loved you with my entire soul.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for falling out of love with me.
I forgive you for canceling our future. Even though I left, you canceled our future a long time ago.
I forgive you for making me angry.
I forgive you for making me bitter.
I forgive you…
So here it is… I forgive you! I’m doing this for my happiness not yours. I’m letting you go. Completely letting you go.
I’m saying good-bye. Good-bye to all the memories. I can’t even hold onto the good memories. I’m saying good-bye to you. Again, this is not for you. This is for me!!
I will never forget what you did. But I forgive you for what you did.
But I have learned so much from you. And for that I thank you. I know that I am so much better than I ever have been. I know that I am worth it. I know that I am a better person now. I found strength, courage, love, passion, faith, grace, and dignity. I found all of these things even though you didn’t show them to me.
I know that I will find what I need. I am still cautious. I’m still learning. I have a wall up. I am guarded. I’ve built a wall not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it. But with time and patience, I will find what I need. I will find that love. I’m not giving up on it yet.
I forgive you. I let you go. I say good-bye.
I can now completely, fully move on. I can move forward.
I know that I must forgive you. I know that I must forgive you for everything you did. Until I forgive you, you have a hold on my heart. I can’t let anyone else in until I forgive you. So… I forgive you.
I’m not doing this for you. I am doing this for me. I need this. I have to have this. I need to let you go. Completely let you go.
I forgive you for breaking my heart.
I forgive you for all the empty promises.
I forgive you for all the promises that you broke too.
I forgive you for betraying me.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for not trusting me with your whole heart when I trusted you with my whole heart.
I forgive you for not loving me with your entire soul when I loved you with my entire soul.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for falling out of love with me.
I forgive you for canceling our future. Even though I left, you canceled our future a long time ago.
I forgive you for making me angry.
I forgive you for making me bitter.
I forgive you…
So here it is… I forgive you! I’m doing this for my happiness not yours. I’m letting you go. Completely letting you go.
I’m saying good-bye. Good-bye to all the memories. I can’t even hold onto the good memories. I’m saying good-bye to you. Again, this is not for you. This is for me!!
I will never forget what you did. But I forgive you for what you did.
But I have learned so much from you. And for that I thank you. I know that I am so much better than I ever have been. I know that I am worth it. I know that I am a better person now. I found strength, courage, love, passion, faith, grace, and dignity. I found all of these things even though you didn’t show them to me.
I know that I will find what I need. I am still cautious. I’m still learning. I have a wall up. I am guarded. I’ve built a wall not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it. But with time and patience, I will find what I need. I will find that love. I’m not giving up on it yet.
I forgive you. I let you go. I say good-bye.
I can now completely, fully move on. I can move forward.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
No Shortcuts
“There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.” – Beverly Sill
I love when I am able to find a quote that hits the heart. A quote that makes you think. A quote that may make you reflect. A quote that can make you feel. A quote that may touch your soul. A quote that will speak to you.
I have found another quote that speaks to me. I like this one because you can take in many ways. I like a quote like that. Think about this quote again… “There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.”
If it is worth it there are no shortcuts.
It can simply mean a destination of a place. If your trip is worth it you don’t want to short change yourself on seeing or experiencing something.
It can be a transition. Personal transition. Financial transition. Professional transition. If it is worth it you don’t want a short cut.
It can be a personal journey. Personal grow. Finding out who you are. Your journey to the new place in your life, the new you is worth going and no shortcuts are needed.
You have to go through it to feel it. You need to feel and see and experience the entire thing. You learn to appreciate what you are going through. You appreciate yourself. You appreciate your courage and your strength. You appreciate the people that surrounded you in your time. You appreciate your surroundings. You appreciate what the future may hold for you.
I love when I am able to find a quote that hits the heart. A quote that makes you think. A quote that may make you reflect. A quote that can make you feel. A quote that may touch your soul. A quote that will speak to you.
I have found another quote that speaks to me. I like this one because you can take in many ways. I like a quote like that. Think about this quote again… “There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.”
If it is worth it there are no shortcuts.
It can simply mean a destination of a place. If your trip is worth it you don’t want to short change yourself on seeing or experiencing something.
It can be a transition. Personal transition. Financial transition. Professional transition. If it is worth it you don’t want a short cut.
It can be a personal journey. Personal grow. Finding out who you are. Your journey to the new place in your life, the new you is worth going and no shortcuts are needed.
You have to go through it to feel it. You need to feel and see and experience the entire thing. You learn to appreciate what you are going through. You appreciate yourself. You appreciate your courage and your strength. You appreciate the people that surrounded you in your time. You appreciate your surroundings. You appreciate what the future may hold for you.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
This Is My Cause
Every woman has a story… What’s your’s?
Part of my story is that I am an advocate. I have a passion for breast cancer awareness.
Have you ever pictured a world without breast cancer? I have. And this is why I have a passion and this is why I advocate for awareness. I hope that my nieces and my future daughter may know a world free of breast cancer.
On October 4th, my “Breast Friends” and I will be joining arms and walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. We will be doing our small part to advocate and raise awareness.
We race to remember.
We race with love.
We race with a memory.
We race to honor.
We race with dignity.
We race to celebrate.
We race with grace.
We race with hope.
We race for life.
We race because we have passion.
We race to be strong and to have courage.
We race for a promise of a cure.
This is why I race for a cure. This is my cause.
Part of my story is that I am an advocate. I have a passion for breast cancer awareness.
Have you ever pictured a world without breast cancer? I have. And this is why I have a passion and this is why I advocate for awareness. I hope that my nieces and my future daughter may know a world free of breast cancer.
On October 4th, my “Breast Friends” and I will be joining arms and walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. We will be doing our small part to advocate and raise awareness.
We race to remember.
We race with love.
We race with a memory.
We race to honor.
We race with dignity.
We race to celebrate.
We race with grace.
We race with hope.
We race for life.
We race because we have passion.
We race to be strong and to have courage.
We race for a promise of a cure.
This is why I race for a cure. This is my cause.
ABC's of Aging Gracefully
ABC's of Ageing Gracefully
Avoid collagen, Bloom late, Celebrate, Dance at weddings, Eat more chocolate, Fall in love again, Go grey, Hold hands, Inspire, Jettison grudges, Kiss like you mean it, Laugh, Mend fences, Nurture friendships, Open doors, Perspire with aplomb, Quit whining, Rekindle romance, Spoil babies, Teach someone to read, Upset convention, Volunteer, Wear red, eXpect joy, Yield gracefully, Zing.
Avoid collagen, Bloom late, Celebrate, Dance at weddings, Eat more chocolate, Fall in love again, Go grey, Hold hands, Inspire, Jettison grudges, Kiss like you mean it, Laugh, Mend fences, Nurture friendships, Open doors, Perspire with aplomb, Quit whining, Rekindle romance, Spoil babies, Teach someone to read, Upset convention, Volunteer, Wear red, eXpect joy, Yield gracefully, Zing.
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