Isn't it funny how music can echo your emotions. Reflect how you feel. Put your feelings into words.
I put my iPod on shuffle today. And every sone that played reflected how I was feeling today. My mood of being confused but hopeful. Sad but strong. Upset but determined. And just handling my life with grace and dignity.
Music expressing my feeling and mood is something magical.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
To A.S.I. - This one is for you
I am a fighter. I fight for what I want. I fight for what I need. I fight for what's mine. And I don't handle rejection well. I don't like being told no.
Maybe since I am a fighter that's the reason I haven't given up. Even though I said I was done, I wasn't ready to give up. I don't like to quit. I had to say I was done to give my heart some peace.
But I wasn't ready to give up because of several reasons. I wasn't ready to give up because I saw something in your eyes. I wasn't ready to give up just yet because I felt something in your touch. I wasn't ready to give up because I felt something in my heart and soul for you. I wasn't ready to give up because I liked the feeling of butterflies in my stomach everytime I thought of your sweet face.
I saw something in you and I felt something for you. I was scared. I know what I felt was real. I'm not scared of that feeling anymore. For that, I thank you.
And again, thank you for letting me know that I can open my heart. Thank you for letting me know I can survive yet another heartache.
There's just something about you that I believed in. Something that got me. Hook. Line. and Sinker. You reeled me in. I liked it. And I believed what you said.
I believed you the other day when you said that you were sorry and that we would talk. I believed it. You reeled me back in. And I held tightly onto that string again. But I have to let go again because my heart can't handle the pain.
But I am still not ready to let go. I know I need to let go. But I don't want to. You got to me and in a good way too.
I don't know if this is my final good-bye. Maybe it should be. But I don't want it to be good-bye.
Thinking of you!
p.s. I want to be there for you even if I have to settlle for reamining your friend.
Maybe since I am a fighter that's the reason I haven't given up. Even though I said I was done, I wasn't ready to give up. I don't like to quit. I had to say I was done to give my heart some peace.
But I wasn't ready to give up because of several reasons. I wasn't ready to give up because I saw something in your eyes. I wasn't ready to give up just yet because I felt something in your touch. I wasn't ready to give up because I felt something in my heart and soul for you. I wasn't ready to give up because I liked the feeling of butterflies in my stomach everytime I thought of your sweet face.
I saw something in you and I felt something for you. I was scared. I know what I felt was real. I'm not scared of that feeling anymore. For that, I thank you.
And again, thank you for letting me know that I can open my heart. Thank you for letting me know I can survive yet another heartache.
There's just something about you that I believed in. Something that got me. Hook. Line. and Sinker. You reeled me in. I liked it. And I believed what you said.
I believed you the other day when you said that you were sorry and that we would talk. I believed it. You reeled me back in. And I held tightly onto that string again. But I have to let go again because my heart can't handle the pain.
But I am still not ready to let go. I know I need to let go. But I don't want to. You got to me and in a good way too.
I don't know if this is my final good-bye. Maybe it should be. But I don't want it to be good-bye.
Thinking of you!
p.s. I want to be there for you even if I have to settlle for reamining your friend.
think about this one...
Fall in love or fall in hate.
Get inspired or be depressed.
Ace a test or flunk a class.
Makes babies or make art.
Speak the truth or lie and cheat.
Dance on tables or sit in the corner.
Life is divine chaos. Embrace it.
Forgive yourself. Breathe.
And enjoy the ride…
- Solbeam
It's all about a choice. You make the final decision in what you do. The experiences around you help influence your choice. But the choice is yours. It's all on you.
Get inspired or be depressed.
Ace a test or flunk a class.
Makes babies or make art.
Speak the truth or lie and cheat.
Dance on tables or sit in the corner.
Life is divine chaos. Embrace it.
Forgive yourself. Breathe.
And enjoy the ride…
- Solbeam
It's all about a choice. You make the final decision in what you do. The experiences around you help influence your choice. But the choice is yours. It's all on you.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Change & Happiness
Change & Happiness.
These are a couple things going on in my life right now that I am trying to embrace. Change and happiness. I have a lot of change going on. And it is bringing me happiness.
My life is starting a new chapter. I’m ready for this new adventure. It’s a new journey.
I have always known what I have wanted in life. I have always known the kind of person that I wanted to be. I have also gone after what I want. My path has changed but I have embraced it. At times I may have taken the wrong road or the long way around. But it has ultimately got me to this point in my life of change.
My job is changing. I am still at RMH, but I am changing positions. I am looking forward to all the challenges that my new job will be bringing. It’s exciting. I am embracing this change.
I am planning on continuing my education. That’s a big change. Going back to school. Being a student again. Taking my career to a whole new level. I am embracing this change too.
My heart is changing. I have forgiven Danny Grayson for what he did to me. For EVERYTHING that he did to me. That was a big change. I said when. I had enough. Enough of being angry. Enough of being bitter. Enough of being unhappy. Forgiveness has brought about the biggest change. It has also enabled me to be truly happy.
My heart is also being taken by someone special. He makes me smile. Really, smile. I’m ready for this change and happiness. I’m ready. He makes me happy. I’m embracing this change. I am trying really hard. It’s a difficult thing for me to trust. But I am learning. And he is being patient. I asked him to show me some things and if he did, then my fragile heart was his. And it’s not fair for me to ask for these things if I’m not showing them to him as well. (You show me & I will show you the same).
I am ready for all of this change. I am ready to see what kind of happiness I will have.
These are a couple things going on in my life right now that I am trying to embrace. Change and happiness. I have a lot of change going on. And it is bringing me happiness.
My life is starting a new chapter. I’m ready for this new adventure. It’s a new journey.
I have always known what I have wanted in life. I have always known the kind of person that I wanted to be. I have also gone after what I want. My path has changed but I have embraced it. At times I may have taken the wrong road or the long way around. But it has ultimately got me to this point in my life of change.
My job is changing. I am still at RMH, but I am changing positions. I am looking forward to all the challenges that my new job will be bringing. It’s exciting. I am embracing this change.
I am planning on continuing my education. That’s a big change. Going back to school. Being a student again. Taking my career to a whole new level. I am embracing this change too.
My heart is changing. I have forgiven Danny Grayson for what he did to me. For EVERYTHING that he did to me. That was a big change. I said when. I had enough. Enough of being angry. Enough of being bitter. Enough of being unhappy. Forgiveness has brought about the biggest change. It has also enabled me to be truly happy.
My heart is also being taken by someone special. He makes me smile. Really, smile. I’m ready for this change and happiness. I’m ready. He makes me happy. I’m embracing this change. I am trying really hard. It’s a difficult thing for me to trust. But I am learning. And he is being patient. I asked him to show me some things and if he did, then my fragile heart was his. And it’s not fair for me to ask for these things if I’m not showing them to him as well. (You show me & I will show you the same).
I am ready for all of this change. I am ready to see what kind of happiness I will have.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Show Me...
Show Me…
Show me that you’re for real.
Show me that you care.
Show me that I matter.
Show me that I deserve it.
Show me that you are better than him.
Show me that promises are not broken.
Show me that I can trust you.
Show me that I have your trust.
Show me that you understand.
Show me that I will be a priority.
Show me that I won’t be forgotten.
Show me that you can handle me at my worst because then you deserve my best.
Show me that you make me happy.
Show me that you are willing to climb over my wall.
Show me that you have patience; I will try not to make you wait long.
Show me that I’m worth it.
Show me that you are honest and speak the truth.
Show me that you will be loyal.
Show me that you respect me.
Show me that you appreciate me.
Show me that I am special to you.
Show me that I can tell you anything.
Show that you are not willing to let me push you away.
Show me that I am worth fighting for and worth keeping.
Show me that you’ll hold me tight.
Show me these things and my fragile heart is yours. Just handle it with care.
Show me that you’re for real.
Show me that you care.
Show me that I matter.
Show me that I deserve it.
Show me that you are better than him.
Show me that promises are not broken.
Show me that I can trust you.
Show me that I have your trust.
Show me that you understand.
Show me that I will be a priority.
Show me that I won’t be forgotten.
Show me that you can handle me at my worst because then you deserve my best.
Show me that you make me happy.
Show me that you are willing to climb over my wall.
Show me that you have patience; I will try not to make you wait long.
Show me that I’m worth it.
Show me that you are honest and speak the truth.
Show me that you will be loyal.
Show me that you respect me.
Show me that you appreciate me.
Show me that I am special to you.
Show me that I can tell you anything.
Show that you are not willing to let me push you away.
Show me that I am worth fighting for and worth keeping.
Show me that you’ll hold me tight.
Show me these things and my fragile heart is yours. Just handle it with care.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
I forgive you...
I forgive you…
I know that I must forgive you. I know that I must forgive you for everything you did. Until I forgive you, you have a hold on my heart. I can’t let anyone else in until I forgive you. So… I forgive you.
I’m not doing this for you. I am doing this for me. I need this. I have to have this. I need to let you go. Completely let you go.
I forgive you for breaking my heart.
I forgive you for all the empty promises.
I forgive you for all the promises that you broke too.
I forgive you for betraying me.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for not trusting me with your whole heart when I trusted you with my whole heart.
I forgive you for not loving me with your entire soul when I loved you with my entire soul.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for falling out of love with me.
I forgive you for canceling our future. Even though I left, you canceled our future a long time ago.
I forgive you for making me angry.
I forgive you for making me bitter.
I forgive you…
So here it is… I forgive you! I’m doing this for my happiness not yours. I’m letting you go. Completely letting you go.
I’m saying good-bye. Good-bye to all the memories. I can’t even hold onto the good memories. I’m saying good-bye to you. Again, this is not for you. This is for me!!
I will never forget what you did. But I forgive you for what you did.
But I have learned so much from you. And for that I thank you. I know that I am so much better than I ever have been. I know that I am worth it. I know that I am a better person now. I found strength, courage, love, passion, faith, grace, and dignity. I found all of these things even though you didn’t show them to me.
I know that I will find what I need. I am still cautious. I’m still learning. I have a wall up. I am guarded. I’ve built a wall not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it. But with time and patience, I will find what I need. I will find that love. I’m not giving up on it yet.
I forgive you. I let you go. I say good-bye.
I can now completely, fully move on. I can move forward.
I know that I must forgive you. I know that I must forgive you for everything you did. Until I forgive you, you have a hold on my heart. I can’t let anyone else in until I forgive you. So… I forgive you.
I’m not doing this for you. I am doing this for me. I need this. I have to have this. I need to let you go. Completely let you go.
I forgive you for breaking my heart.
I forgive you for all the empty promises.
I forgive you for all the promises that you broke too.
I forgive you for betraying me.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for not trusting me with your whole heart when I trusted you with my whole heart.
I forgive you for not loving me with your entire soul when I loved you with my entire soul.
I forgive you…
I forgive you for falling out of love with me.
I forgive you for canceling our future. Even though I left, you canceled our future a long time ago.
I forgive you for making me angry.
I forgive you for making me bitter.
I forgive you…
So here it is… I forgive you! I’m doing this for my happiness not yours. I’m letting you go. Completely letting you go.
I’m saying good-bye. Good-bye to all the memories. I can’t even hold onto the good memories. I’m saying good-bye to you. Again, this is not for you. This is for me!!
I will never forget what you did. But I forgive you for what you did.
But I have learned so much from you. And for that I thank you. I know that I am so much better than I ever have been. I know that I am worth it. I know that I am a better person now. I found strength, courage, love, passion, faith, grace, and dignity. I found all of these things even though you didn’t show them to me.
I know that I will find what I need. I am still cautious. I’m still learning. I have a wall up. I am guarded. I’ve built a wall not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it. But with time and patience, I will find what I need. I will find that love. I’m not giving up on it yet.
I forgive you. I let you go. I say good-bye.
I can now completely, fully move on. I can move forward.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
No Shortcuts
“There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.” – Beverly Sill
I love when I am able to find a quote that hits the heart. A quote that makes you think. A quote that may make you reflect. A quote that can make you feel. A quote that may touch your soul. A quote that will speak to you.
I have found another quote that speaks to me. I like this one because you can take in many ways. I like a quote like that. Think about this quote again… “There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.”
If it is worth it there are no shortcuts.
It can simply mean a destination of a place. If your trip is worth it you don’t want to short change yourself on seeing or experiencing something.
It can be a transition. Personal transition. Financial transition. Professional transition. If it is worth it you don’t want a short cut.
It can be a personal journey. Personal grow. Finding out who you are. Your journey to the new place in your life, the new you is worth going and no shortcuts are needed.
You have to go through it to feel it. You need to feel and see and experience the entire thing. You learn to appreciate what you are going through. You appreciate yourself. You appreciate your courage and your strength. You appreciate the people that surrounded you in your time. You appreciate your surroundings. You appreciate what the future may hold for you.
I love when I am able to find a quote that hits the heart. A quote that makes you think. A quote that may make you reflect. A quote that can make you feel. A quote that may touch your soul. A quote that will speak to you.
I have found another quote that speaks to me. I like this one because you can take in many ways. I like a quote like that. Think about this quote again… “There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.”
If it is worth it there are no shortcuts.
It can simply mean a destination of a place. If your trip is worth it you don’t want to short change yourself on seeing or experiencing something.
It can be a transition. Personal transition. Financial transition. Professional transition. If it is worth it you don’t want a short cut.
It can be a personal journey. Personal grow. Finding out who you are. Your journey to the new place in your life, the new you is worth going and no shortcuts are needed.
You have to go through it to feel it. You need to feel and see and experience the entire thing. You learn to appreciate what you are going through. You appreciate yourself. You appreciate your courage and your strength. You appreciate the people that surrounded you in your time. You appreciate your surroundings. You appreciate what the future may hold for you.
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