I've learned...

Audra, you are right sister. It does feel good to look back and think how far I’ve come. I did make it. It did not beat me. I am fabulous.

It has been 6 months since I walked away.

I’ve had my ups and downs. I’ve been bitchy. I’ve been cranky. I’ve cried several tears. I’ve been angry. But I made it. And I couldn’t have made it without the love, support, encouragement, and comfort of so many fantastic people in my life.

I’ve learned so much over these 6 months too.
I’ve learned about vehicle repossession. (Thanks Danny!)
I’ve learned about a small business credit card going to collections. (Thanks again!)
I’ve learned that I am courageous and strong.
I’ve learned that I am loved.
I’ve learned that I am fabulous.
I’ve learned how to handle things with dignity.
I’ve learned that I deserve so much more. I deserve better.
I’ve learned how to pick myself up and dust myself off all with grace.
I’ve learned that I am determined.
I’m learning that it takes time to heal.
I’m learning that I can trust again.
I’m learning that I can work two jobs.
I’m learning that I have the greatest people in my life.
I’m learning new confidence.
I’m learning that I am beautiful (inside & out).
I’ve learned that I can start over.
I’ve learned that when you get knocked down, you got to get up no matter how much it hurts.
I’ve learned that laughter is the best medicine for an aching heart.
I’ve learned that true friends can help heal the soul.
I’ve learned how to hold my head high.
I’ve learned that time really does heal your wounds.
I’m learning a new kind of patience.
I’m learning that I am willing and able.
I’ve learned who I can trust.

This journey has been hard. It’s been difficult. It has sucked. I have paid with my heart and my wallet. I’m learning everyday. I have no regrets. And in a weird way I don’t know if I would change anything if given the chance. Because I would not be where I am right now, this very moment, if it hadn’t all happened. Now the money part would be nice to have back but I have learned for it. Things can be fixed. Debt can be paid off. It’s all about growing, learning, changing.

My one hope is that karma is real. I hope that he gets his. I’ll stand on the sidelines of life watching. Nothing will be said. I will watch and then walk away.

I’ve blessed it. I’m letting it go. I’m over it. Moving on!

And no matter how hard I try, I cannot hate him. I’ve tried. I am very angry with him and I am extremely disappointed with him. Even with the bill that he stuck me with, I’m mad but I don’t hate him. And I do wish the best for him. I hope that he finds his way. I hope he’s happy.

I know that I am happy. And I know I am loved.