Too Far Gone...

Too Far Gone...

He went too far. He crossed a line. And I will make him pay for it now.

I can handle what you do and have done to me. Bring it! My broad shoulders and steel in my spine can handle it.

But... DO NOT INVOLVE MY FAMILY. DO NOT BRING MY LOVES INTO YOUR MESS.

And that's what you did. You have no integrity. Your shame is never ending. You destroy everything!

What you did was well over a year ago. But comfirmation was made to me yesterday. Why? Getting high was that important... You stole from my mother. You stole from my dead uncle. You stole an important memory from my mother, my brothers, my family, and me.

You will now pay for your sins in some way.

I have NEVER been this angry before in my life. The RAGE I feel in my soul is an experience like no other before in my life.

Causing you much harm is what I want. It is taking all the self control I have not to find you. It is taking all self control to get through the day. It is taking self control to type these words.

Rage is almost to the breaking edge. Remembering to breathe. Remembering that Karama is a bitch and a big bitch then I will EVER be!

Let's hope we don't see each other... I may end up with a misdemeanor charge of assult and battery.

Update on List of 'Going to Do'

Update on List of 'Going to Do'

Back on my New Year's blog I had posted a list of things that I was going to do this year. Well I have accomplished a few things on that list. A few things I am still working on. Just wanted to share my progress.

Ear piercing - check mark done... I got my rook pierced.

One tattoo - check mark done... February 28th with Audra. Words grace and dignity inside a pair of angel wings on my right shoulder.

Apply for grad school - check mark done... Not getting good vibes on being accepted. I'll just apply again next year.

Run the Susan G. Komen 5K - need to get back into the gym. Much needed cardio to be able to run it.

Being 'greener' - working on this one.

Blogging more - slacking on this one.

Read more books - this one I am enjoying.

Continue to pamper and spoil myself - this one is the best one to accomplish.

Continue to go to concerts - working on this years concert series.

Well that's a few things that I have been up too.

Grace & Dignity

Grace & Dignity

Part of my daily living.
Two words that describe me.
Two words tattooed on my shoulder.
The standard that I hold myself to.
Words that I am in love with.

I have settled the last of D.G.’s mess. Granted, I still owe the money but it’s less. Way less than the original debt. I no longer owe creditors or collection agencies. I owe just one bank. It’s a relief. Small relief but still a relief. Last week was a rough week. And it’s amazing how a simple form letter leads you to make a phone call and then after the phone call your day and rest of the week turn to shit. But it’s settled. And I had to rally every bit of grace, dignity, pride, strength, courage, and patience within my being not to track him down, punch him in the face, stare in his eyes and say “Fuck You!” But if I do that then he wins. He will know that he broke me down. I am not broken. I am not down. I am standing with steel in my spine. Grace & Dignity.

Working on letting this go… This recent BS just made the anger surface. No rage. I was angry all over again. Anger over lies, betrayal, heartache, and the loss. But I’m not staying down. I am not broken. I am so much better than all of this.

So moving on. No where to go but up. Chin up. Boobs out! I don’t have to live that time again.